College Football Announcing Watchdoggery - Preseason

Well, this could be fun.

It seems like sports broadcast journalism outlets have been under the microscope throughout this summer. It began with ESPN's gross NFL lockout coverage in favor of, you know, sports that were actually happening. Fascinating baseball stories outside of the usual Yankees/Red Sox with some Phillies thrown in have been largely ignored. And now there's the swirling controversy about ESPN's role in conference realignment and whether or not they're factoring in to it with TV deals, namely ownership of the controversial Longhorn Network. As you'll see later, they're treating it like a big time network. Anyway, with a boom in broadcast journalism interest thanks to these events and the continued "watchdoggery" of sites like Deadspin and Awful Announcing, I've decided to jump on the bandwagon.

I've long been an obsessive over sports announcers. I wanted to be one for the longest time (and still wouldn't mind the job, if offered) and they've always had a strong affect on my enjoyment of a game and even whether or not I'll watch it, in some cases. I suppose it's because of my life for words and description and storytelling but I track these guys hard and hopefully you'll see some of that over the coming weeks.

We begin with the week 1 schedule. For now, I'll mostly just give brief thoughts on the announcing crew, since there's not too much to "watchdog" yet.

Murray State @ Louisville (ESPNU, 6:00 Thu) - Rob Stone, Danny Kanell, Allison Williams
Rob Stone really belongs on the sideline, but for bullshit games like these, he's cool on play by play. Danny Kanell's just a great name to look at and have in your life. This is Allison Williams. Suddenly I might watch this game. At least until...
UNLV @ Wisconsin (ESPN, 8:00) - Rece Davis, Craig James, Jesse Palmer, Jenn Brown
Ugh. I HATE Rece Davis on play by play. He's so much more natural in the studio. Can't we move Dave Pasch or Joe Tessitore or somebody to this spot already and stick Bob Wischusen in their place? The fact that Craig James even has a job for ESPN after the Mike Leach saga is an embarrassment. Palmer is one of the few really bright spots on the network - I think only Herbstreit and Blackledge are better analysts than him. Jenn Brown tends to look better in dresses and modeling shoots, not on the sidelines, but she does decently enough. She was never going to fill Erin Andrews' shoes but she works hard.
Mississippi State @ Memphis (FSN, 8:00) - Ron Thulin, JC Pearson, Jeremy Bloom
Jeremy Bloom?! Bit of a bizarre choice for an analyst. A college football star who lost his eligibility because he took skiing endorsements and a massive flop for the Eagles in the pros. Thulin is solid though and Pearson's okay enough.
Kentucky v. Western Kentucky (ESPNU, 9:15) - Dave Neal, Andre Ware, Cara Capuano
Dave Neal used to do play by play for the SEC Network noon game but now he's moved up to ESPNU. Andre Ware's a moron. Cara Capuano is a dog. I wish this had the Murray State/Louisville team since this is a more interesting game with it being at a neutral site (LP Field in Nashville, home of the Titans) because WKU needs to meet attendance quotas with its "home games."


Youngstown State @ Michigan State (BTN, 7:30 Fri) - Tom Hart, Derek Rackley, Lisa Byington
Tom Hart? I've heard him do a game once or twice, he's solid. Never heard Rackley or seen Byington although googling the latter doesn't turn up much. What's this doing on a Friday night? Guess they can slap it there under the guise of, "there's been no football for seven months, who cares?"
TCU @ Baylor (ESPN, 8:00) - Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore, Samantha Steele
Class. Watch this and tell me Joe Tessitore's not a big time announcer. Gilmore's a terrific analyst and the two have a real chemistry and understanding. Man, their broadcasts are fun. Definitely not missing this one. Samantha Steele is cute, but a bit overrated by the folks over at Busted Coverage, as they tend to do with various females. Not surprised, they're a fratty joke blog after all. Of course, this one is mostly grading the female sideline reporters by their looks so I'm an asshole too. In all seriousness, I'll obviously rate their performances fairly but it's like this: if you're getting hired at least in part because of your looks, I'm going to take looks in to account.


Akron @ Ohio State (ESPN, 12:00) - Dave Pasch, Chris Spielman, Urban Meyer, Quint Kessenich
So we have Chris Spielman, an Ohio State graduate and Urban Meyer, who grew up in Ohio, providing color commentary on the Ohio State Buckeyes, the school who spent the most time under the microscope of rules violations. Add in Pasch being a usual (after)noon delight, and that'll be fun. Kessenich, a nice guy whom I've actually met, does an underrated job on the sidelines as well.
Utah State @ Auburn (ESPN2, 12:00) - Beth Mowins, Mike Bellotti
I'm not sure what's scarier - how bad Beth Mowins is or the fact that she's somehow an upgrade from the woman who used to be here: the University of Maryland's own Pam Ward *vomit.* Bellotti's a terrific analyst though, but that was with Carter Blackburn. This will be tougher.
Miami (OH) @ Missouri (FSN, 12:00) - Bill Land, Dave Lapham, Jim Knox
They're okay, I guess. FOX needs to start stepping up its announcing teams now that it's scored some tasty new TV deals. This isn't a Pac-12 game though, which is perhaps why they skimped.
Indiana State @ Penn State (BTN, 12:00) - Matt Devlin, Glen Mason, Dionne Miller
Matt Devlin's finest hour. That's far from his only embarrassing moment on play by play. But it is quite funny when he tries to get excited and yell and it just comes out as an odd grunt. Glen Mason's a joke forever and always. Dionne Miller...yawn.
Middle Tennessee @ Purdue (BTN, 12:00) - Wayne Larrivee, Joe Tiller, Jon Jansen
Oh man, Wayne Larrivee calling a game drooling with upset potential? What a way I might be able to break in Big Ten Network. Fun fact: BTN's first ever game was Appalachian State/Michigan. Since, this timeslot has become infamous for near and actual upsets as well as wild fun games. This one has all the potential to meet those standards.
Tennessee Tech @ Iowa (BTN, 12:00) - Tom Werme, Danan Hughes, Stacy Paetz
Had not heard of any of them before doing this post. As you may have guessed from the name, Paetz is a Latina and not that great looking of one at that. Seems like this team is the bottom Big Ten Network team for a reason...
Appalachian State @ Virginia Tech (ACC, 12:30) - Steve Martin, Dave Archer, Mike Hogewood
Dave Archer's a nice addition. Then again, a block of wood would be an upgrade over Doc Walker. This remains one of the worst broadcasting teams on television. You think Joe Buck sounds boring? Listen to Steve Martin call a game. And Mike Hogewood's just in the way at this point. No one cares about your southern drawl.


USF @ Notre Dame (NBC, 3:30) - Dan Hicks, Mike Mayock, Alex Flanagan, Anthony Herron
I have a feeling Dan Hicks on Notre Dame games is going to be an abortion. Doesn't seem like the football type. Then again, there was once a time that Chris Fowler didn't seem like the tennis type, so these things can change. Mayock's a brilliant analyst though that should keep the broadcast at least above average. Alex Flanagan's hot enough, even if her voice is droning and I thought Anthony Herron was suspended for the first five games of the season. Nope, that's Boom Herron.
Minnesota @ USC (ABC/ESPN2, 3:30) - Carter Blackburn, Brock Huard, Shelley Smith
I'm not a Blackburn fan. He's okay but he's nothing great. Huard is, though. I think every assignment Shelley Smith has covered over the last seven years has been related to USC football.
Western Michigan @ Michigan (ABC/ESPN2, 3:30) - Mike Patrick, Craig James, Jeannine Edwards
How little did Mike Patrick know about Western Michigan before getting that assignment? For example, there's no way he knew they were in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Do you think he knew Jason Babin went to WMU, never mind being born there? What about the fact that they played in a bowl a couple years ago? At least James isn't an asshole and Edwards isn't a horseface. Wait...
UCLA @ Houston (FSN, 3:30) - Craig Bolerjack, Joel Klatt, Petros Papadakis
Craig Bolerjack doing weekly football - as opposed to a couple CBS games a year - is a good, good thing. This is a terrific broadcast team. Klatt's a good young analyst and Papadakis is quirky but it's a good quirky. He's worked with Barry Tompkins for a while though so there may be an adjustment period here.
UL-Monroe @ Florida State (ESPNU, 3:30) - Pam Ward, Dan Hawkins
This is what Hell is. Right here. This announcing team.
Delaware @ Navy (CBSSN, 3:30) - Tim Brant, Randy Cross, Kaylee Hartung
A lot of people hate Brant but I've always been a fan. Randy Cross?!?! The hell?! He's always been an NFL guy and an obnoxious one at that. There's no way this ends well. As for Kaylee Hartung, here she is. I like. Man, I wish somebody made videos like these for Jill Arrington back when she was on CBS. Hottest sideline reporter of all time, for my money. You could tell she didn't even care, she just loved showing off her body. Okay, that's enough out of me. Fun side note about this game - these two teams have played a few times recently, including a shootout in 2007 that Delaware won when Joe Flacco was still their QB. Nope, he didn't blow it at the end; I was shocked too!
Chattanooga @ Nebraska (BTN, 3:30) - Kevin Kugler, Kelly Stouffer, Ahman Green
Ahman Green should be fun on a Nebraska game. Kelly Stouffer's sort of a hack. Kevin Kugler I've never heard of. Jeez, there's way too much football on TV these days.
James Madison @ North Carolina (ACC, 3:30) - Rich Waltz, Keith Jones, Jenn Hildreth
Keith Jones?! Oh god, not this guy. And Jenn Hildreth is really not that hot - on TV or in person. Nor is she particularly good at her job. Moments like this are when I get happy that FSN no longer has ACC Sunday Night Hoops. Never heard of Waltz, which is probably why he's doing a JMU/UNC game.
BYU @ Mississippi (ESPN, 4:45) - Bob Wischusen, Bob Davie, Jessica Mendoza
Bob Wischusen on a sneaky interesting BYU/Ole Miss game is an odd decision. He's fine enough I guess, but Tessitore/Gilmore couldn't swing over from Waco to call that one? BYU's kind of a huge deal independent - their specialty and ESPN gave them Saturday Primetime last year involving SEC teams (LSU/Florida, when Nessler/Blackledge called the Rutgers/UConn Friday game.) Or maybe I just went Tessitore/Gilmore on every semi-decent mid major game on the ESPN family after the aforementioned Boise/Nevada classic. Davie isn't a great analyst but he isn't a horrible one. Jessica Mendoza on the sideline? Has she ever done a non-softball broadcast for ESPN? Interesting.


Florida Atlantic @ Florida (ESPNU, 7:00) - Clay Matvick, Brian Griese, Allison Williams
I like Matvick's voice, haven't heard too much of him on relevant games. Griese's a decent analyst. Seems like they're trying to make Allison Williams the "new Erin Andrews," which is something certain sectors of the internet already believes (oh look, that's where I got that video from before!)
East Carolina v. South Carolina (SEC, 7:00) - Bob Rathbun, Tim Couch, Kristina Akra
Bob Rathbun on football. Yikes. Tim Couch?!?! That seems like it'll be yikes too. And Kristina Akra...is stunningly beautiful. That is most definitely yikes. She'll move to ESPN by the end of the year.
Oregon v. LSU (ABC, 8:00) - Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Erin Andrews
Musberger just doesn't care anymore. "This is for all the Tostitos" legitimately isn't even trying. Shame because Herbstreit and Andrews are arguably the best at what they do and that's why they're here.
Boise State v. Georgia (ESPN, 8:00) - Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe
This is the best announcing team on the ESPN family and it's not even close. Might be the best team in all of college football announcing. Each of the three is the best or among the best at their role. Just a fantabulous crew. Also, there need to be more weeks where Saturday Night Football (ABC) and Saturday Primetime (ESPN) just have duel epic games. Oregon/LSU at Jerryworld and Boise/Georgia at the Dome. Sheesh.
Tulsa @ Oklahoma (FX, 8:00) - Gus Johnson, Charles Davis, Tim Brewster
This is FOX's lead team. Gus Johnson on college football on a basic cable channel (BTN wasn't for most people) is something that should've happened years ago. Particularly for sure-to-be shootouts like that one. Charles Davis is among the top analysts in the game. Not a clue what Tim Brewster's doing on this team - usually low-profile ex head coaches start on lower teams like Hawkins (who's a LOT more high profile than Brewster.) Guess the ex Minnesota man must have interviewed really well? Looking forward to seeing if he's worthy of being on this team.
Rice @ Texas (LHN, 8:00) - Mark Jones, Ed Cunningham, Samantha Steele
Okay, here we go. Mark Jones and Ed Cunningham, a solid upper midcard ESPN announcing team, announcing a Longhorn Network game sticks out like a sore thumb in light of everything that's happened over the past month. Particularly considering that other ESPN-affiliated regional networks have either the stuck-in-the-1970's Raycom broadcasts (ACC) or get donk ESPN Plus leftover announcers and ESPN3 mainstays (Big East.) This game is not worthy of these announcers. But of course they get them because Texas brings in the eyeballs and the money, which we've painfully learned over the past few months is all that matters.
Colorado @ Hawaii (ESPN2, 10:15) - Dave Lamont, David Diaz-Infante Dave LaMont's underrated. That's all.


Miami @ Maryland (ESPN, 8:00 Mon) - Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Heather Cox
Sean McDonough isn't just underrated, he's pure class. He'll make our game fun, guaranteed. And Millen's good, Jacory/Jarrett nightmare aside. Heather Cox does an underrated job on the sideline. These guys are usually your top ABC 3:30 game, which is a good thing since that game is basically a national game every week with the reverse mirror on ESPN2.

Next week will be our first reviews. No idea how many games I'll get to watch but I'll try to toggle around. I get most of the channels the games are on (LHN and CBSSN are notables that I don't) so I should hopefully be able to get a wide array of opinion.

COMING - NCAA football preview and week 1 picks, fantasy football draft analysis, Champions League group preview

2011 U.S. Open Predictions - Women

Above are my poor credentials and even poorer men's picks. Now to the women.

I took a shot at the women's game to close out the above post and for good reason. It sucks. No one has mental strength. No one can hit the ball accurately more often than not. Almost anyone in the draw, save for the qualifiers and/or greenhorns, can make a run in to the second week. How much parity is there? Here's a list of seeded players I have out in round 1: Jarmila Gaidosova (29), Andrea Petkovic (10), Kaia Kanepi (31), Shahar Peer (23), Yanina Wickmayer (20), Shuai Peng (13), Flavia Pennetta (26) and Anabel Medina Garrigues (30.) Eight of thirty two seeds, exactly one quarter of the seeded players out in the first round (and three in the top 20.) We'll see if we come anywhere close to that:

Round of 32: Wozniacki over Benesova, Kuznetsova over Hantuchova, Zheng over Cornet, Li over Date Krumm, Serena over Azarenka, Ivanovic over Mirza, Pavlyuchenkova over Jankovic, Erakovic over Martinez-Sanchez, Safarova over Kvitova, Cirstea over Radwanska, Goerges over Razzano, Sharapova over Oudin, Kirilenko over Bartoli, Stosur over Petrova, Venus over Cibulkova, Robson over Zvonareva

Wozniacki gets the first week ease she needs with Vesnina in round 2 in a match that's appointment television for anyone attracted to women before Benesova in the third. Kuznetsova/Hantuchova's an interesting matchup but I'll go with the one who's won this whole thing before. Chinese countrywomen Zheng and Li Na set up the finals of an Asian battle royal of sorts, with Li taking down Japanese veteran Kimiko Date Krumm who I've got beating Thailand's Tamarine Tanasugarn in round 2.

What else is there to say for Serena/Azarenka? It makes Steelers/Ravens look like a competitive rivalry. What an awful draw for Victoria. When she inevitably goes out, she should spend a healthy amount of her press conference ripping the directors for seeding Serena 28th. Would it come off as sour grapes? Absolutely, especially considering the Belarusian is considered one of the more immature players on tour and frequently has whiny outbursts on court, but it would be more than a fair gripe. There's just no excuse to seed her that low when she's in this kind of form and the talent pool at the top of the women's game is so thin. I mean, Dominika Cibulkova is the 14th seed. What kind of odds do you think the tiny Slovakian would be getting on a fast hard court in New York City against an American who is the biggest, most powerful force to ever play women's tennis? How is it logical that she's 14th and Serena, winner of both the Bank of the West Classic in LA and the Toronto Masters this summer, is 28th?

I have Mirza upsetting Peer to soften up Ivanovic's road. I couldn't be more happy for Ana that she's climbed back in to the top 20. She's worked so hard to rebuild her career since she wilted in the lights of the paparazzi after her bombastic 2007 French Open victory. She fell completely off the map, getting the yips with her serve on many occasions but now she's putting together one solid tournament after another, save a second round slip to Petrova in Cincinnati. I'm not sure she's totally conquered the demons but she's made significant progress, as evidenced by her being able to take Vera Zvonareva to the wire a couple of weeks ago.

I think Pavlyuchenko and Jankovic's careers are going different directions and that match will showcase it. Erakovic is my random upset pick - she stuns Schiavone in round 2 because I'd fancy my chances against Schiavone on a fast court and I can't remember the last time I picked up a tennis racket. Safarova's like Pavlyuchenkova in that I've liked her for a while and Kvitova's due for an early slam exit. Radwanska is, too and Cirstea's a sleeper who takes out 09 semifinalist Yanina Wickmayer in round 1. Goerges is a cute young Brit I like who beat Jankovic and pushed Serena in Toronto and Razzano takes out Peng. The clock will strike midnight on Oudin this time. Kirilenko shockingly beats Bartoli with some ease, indicating she may be ready to make noise. Stosur handles Petrova and my Serena/Cibulkova point from above goes for Venus as well.

And then my shocker of the tournament. Laura Robson is just 17 but she's being hyped as one of the best British women's tennis players in generations. She's obviously got the talent being on the main tour at this young age and she's been pro for a couple years now. This is a pure shot in the dark but you just never know with Zvonareva and for some weird reason, I think she's in line for a major choke, even by her standards. Some shocking things are going to happen in this draw - parity's the name of the game right now on the WTA. This will be way wrong but what's right probably won't be all that predictable anyways.

Round of 16: Wozniacki over Kuznetsova, Li over Zheng, Serena over Ivanovic, Pavlyuchenkova over Erakovic, Safarova over Cirstea, Sharapova over Goerges, Kirilenko over Stosur, Venus over Robson

Could be a coming of age victory for Caroline if she can pull it off. I think she does, but moreso because Kuznetsova's starting to fade and I think she breaks down in a third set here. Li bests Zheng in the all-Chinese affair. Ivanovic's still far too fragile to take down Serena. Pavluychenkova and Safarova take advantage of broken brackets while Sharapova makes Goerges look overmatched in what could be another easy-on-the-eyes affair. Speaking easy-on-the-eyes, Kirilenko keeps her roll going as she shocks Stosur, who has been poor at slams and streaky overall this year. Venus can name her score against Robson.

Quarterfinals: Li over Wozniacki, Serena over Pavlyuchenkova, Sharapova over Safarova, Kirilenko over Venus

I'd LOVE to take Caroline here...but I can't. She's 0/2 against Li in the second week of hard court slams, although both losses were at the Australian (this year's semis, last year's quarters.) Still, I think Li's got a mental edge on her - which means everything in women's tennis. Serena and Sharapova breeze...but Venus doesn't as Kirilenko continues her fantastic run by giving me my new upset of the tournament. Lots of girls, many of them at least somewhat unexpected, have been having breakthrough runs this deep in slams over the past year or two. Yeah, most of them aren't beating a Williams sister en route but I think Kirilenko's next in line. She'll get hot after she beats Bartoli. Gut (and erotic) feeling.

Semifinals: Serena over Li, Sharapova over Kirilenko

Serena wins in a war as Li is a terrific player punching at her weight. Sharapova wins in a rout as Kirilenko is a streaky one punching above her's.

Final: Sharapova over Serena

...and that's what makes the difference in the final. Sharapova pulls off the mild upset in a classic three setter. I think she really cranks up her form in this tournament aided by a soft draw with no top 15 seed in my projected path for her. Serena, meanwhile, has to deal with Azarenka in round 3, Ivanovic in round 4 and then Li in the semis. She runs out of gas and breaks down enough for Maria to get her second U.S. Open.