Tuesday Link Dump - Meet Blake Thomsen

Later this week or next week - depending on factors like "how burnt out from writing do I get?" and "do the Baltimore Orioles give me a heart attack?" - I'll be putting together a comprehensive ranking of the 20 stadiums in the English Premier League.  Helping me with that (and promoting it on his site) will be Blake Thomsen of The Cauldron - a fellow startup site just like this one except (a) they stick entirely to sports and (b) have a whole host of professional, quality writers (headed up by my favorite non-Bill Simmons sports writer of all time Andy Glockner) as opposed to just my amateur candy ass.

Anyway, since I can't pay Mr. Thomsen in anything other than food stamps, I will kick off today's link dump by linking to his newest piece about Manchester United trying to score the gols as frequently as they give up the gols as well as the first piece of his I ever read and the one that got me hooked on his writing about Chelsea's Spanish Inquisition on the rest of England.  Oh and I also have to link to this one by him because (a) look at that pitchfork and (b) it's about the 1994 Caribbean Cup meaning that if it was worth writing about, something epic HAD to have happened.

Okay, now for the rest of the links.....

Chris Low, excellent SEC writer, on this upcoming Saturday being the biggest day in Mississippi history since we let them back in to the Union.

We Need To Talk - the first ever all female sports show - debuts tonight at 10 PM on CBS Sports Network (it's in with your sports channels somewhere.)  Richard Deitsch, the Godfather of sports media journalism whom I never try to go too long without reading and (especially) Tweeting at him, has your full preview.  I hope to write some sort of review tomorrow or later this week.  I'll say this - I'm more excited to watch it and write about it than Gotham, which may or may not get scrapped because this week is just too damn busy.

The incredible story of Paderborn, top 11th in the Bundesliga.  They were top last Tuesday when Dale Johnson wrote the piece but losses to traditional Bundesliga powers Bayern Munich and Borussia Monchengladbach have dropped them to midtable.  Still a wonderful underdog story worth your time.

Soulja Boy Tell 'Em and K. Michelle had one of the great Twitter beefs of our time.  It doesn't matter if you don't know who either is (you probably haven't forgotten Soulja Boy from this) because an epic Twitter beef is an epic Twitter beef and this one more than qualifies.

Oh hey, The Cauldron again.  Seriously folks, give that site your eyeballs after you're done giving them to me.  Wendy Thurm with an excellent breakdown of the collapse of the Oakland A's - which may or may not reach its shocking conclusion tonight.

Hockey's back in 8 days.  More positive links about hockey to come in the future but unfortunately all I've got for you today is The Freezing, Hungry Lives of NHL Ice Girls; an excellent, apolitical work by Mother Jones.

In news that should be a surprise to no one, Gluten's not the devil just like carbs weren't the devil just like...

Wale - another rapper you probably don't know (which is a shame because he's from the DMV AND he's EASILY the most talented major rapper on Rick Ross' Maybach Music Group) - thinks WWE RAW sucks right now and he's not wrong.

How College Football Teams Choose Opponents.  Important to note that this could be flipped all upside down now that the Playoff is here and strength of schedule is paramount now.  Still a fascinating read.

Middle school team pulls off "The Ugly Kardashian" trick play.  I got nothin else here.

Bob Wojnowski goes IN on Brady Hoke.

Workaholism: The addiction of this century.

And finally: A Slice of Life in 1985 - the last time the Kansas City Royals played postseason baseball before tonight.

Enjoy your reading!  And hopefully include this blog in it!

ANATOMY OF: NFL Week 4 - Alphabet Soup

New York Giants (+3) @ Washington REDACTEDs

THE PICK: Giants 25-22 (1-0 SU, 1-0 ATS)

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) #neverforget

2) #neverforget

3) Seriously, #neverforget  When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.  And this is their first EVER home game on CBS's Thursday Night Football?  Holy shit.  NOTHING is off the table tonight.  NOTHING.

THREE REASONS WHY NOT?

1) Kirk Cousins has provided such a brand new infusion of life to this franchise that they should do what they should've done when they took RG3AndOut - rebrand themselves with a non racist name and logo and start all over again.

2) DeSean Jackson against the Giants?  What ever could go wrong?

3) This is a Thursday Night Football game so it's probably going to suck.  Play it safe and take the home team.  Unless of course you've hated the home team since 1996 or so and you take any chance you can get to make fun of them.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Derek Jeter passed his God of New York torch on to LARRY MOTHER FUCKING DONNELL RAWLINGS BITCHES.  Also Kirk Cousins got picked again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  Giants 45-14.

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Seriously, #neverforget  When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.

Miami Dolphins (-3.5) @ Oakland Raiders

THE PICK: Raiders 19-16

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) Because everyone THINKS the Raiders are the Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS favorites....but their opponents are that dark horse no one sees coming.

2) In these cripple fights, take the home team

3) I pondered picking up Andre Holmes this week, then didn't, then the little child who gave me my only fluke loss of my season after fluking in to Larry Donnell picked him up so I guess what I'm trying to say is Flipper Anderson's record is in doubt.

THREE REASONS WHY NOT?

1) The

2) Oakland

3) Raiders

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Green Bay Packers (pk) @ Chicago Bears

THE PICK: Packers 30-27

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) I just can't quit them.

2) Super shady line, Vegas knows, etc.

3) Honestly don't think there's a rivalry in which the road team owns the home team more than Packers/Bears.  I submit the following evidence: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z

....Yeah, holy shit.  We're done here.  I'm not topping that in this blog post or ever in my life ever again.  Quick picks: Bills (+3) over Texans 20-17, Colts (-7.5) over Titans 49-14, Ravens (-3) over Panthers 11 elevator punches-8 buried videotapes, Lions (pk) over Jets 42-21, Steelers (-9) over Bucs 70-7, Chargers (-14) over Jags 28-15, 49ERS (-4.5) over Eagles 31-28, Fighting Teddys (+3) over Falcons 20-17, Saints (-3) over Cowboys 100-42, Pats (-3) over Chiefs 27-24.  Seeya next week.

#SaturdaySelections - September 27, 2014

If you don't know what #SaturdaySelections is...seriously, what are you doing here?  Read one of my other posts.

Not all team logos are official.  Or appropriate.

Iowa (-9.5) @ Purdue

THE PICK: Purdue 27-21

WHY?  (a) because I'm literally dropping a turd right now (#overshare) so it's only fitting I take Turdue and (b) if these selections and this blog turn in to an epic disaster, I can always blame Turdue.

Northwestern (+10) @ Pedo State

THE PICK: Pedo State 44-21

WHY?  Because I actually like Christian Hackenberg, Bill Belton, James Franklin and just about everything related to the Pedo State program other than (a) the fact that their God looked the other way for ten years while his defensive coordinator fucked boys and (b) they still worship their God anyway

Tennessee (+17) @ # 12 Georgia

THE PICK: Georgia 38-31

WHY?  Actually think 17 points is WAY too many but that's because September's not over yet so I haven't stopped deluding myself in to thinking this is the year Tennessee might be BACK.

Vanderbilt (+17.5) @ Kentucky

THE PICK: Vanderbilt 24-21

WHY?  Because Kentucky football is literally a 17 and a half point favorite.  You KNOW the choke is coming.  Also whoever set this line didn't watch Vandy push South Carolina last weekend.

Maryland (+4) @ Indiana

THE PICK: Indiana 56-35

WHY?  Because while this is a TOTAL Indiana choke spot after their epic upset at Missouri last weekend, luckily Maryland is flying high itself by dominating what should be its current conference mate Syracuse at Syracuse last weekend so it cancels out.  Also if you watched our game with West Virginia (and I did!) you know that we can't stop the pass, which is kind of a problem when you're up against Kevin Wilson.

Minnesota (+12.5) @ Michigan

THE PICK: Michigan 29-19

WHY?  Both these teams suck (duh, they're #B1G teams) and a scoreline as ugly as the weather in Ann Arbor last weekend is on the cards.

# 1 Florida State (-18) @ N.C. State

THE PICK: Florida State 41-31

WHY?  The Wolfpack have been FSU's bogey school over the years but luckily Jameis is WAY too stupid to know that.

Arkansas (+9) v. Texas A&M

THE PICK: Texas A&M 53-51

WHY?  As much as I would LOVE to take Arkansas at the behest of the relatively large percentage of my Twitter followers who are Arkansas fans, I can't pick against KENNY HEISMAN.  The Arkansas run game is epic.  KENNY HEISMAN is more epic.  Speaking of epic, this is at Jerryworld.

Stanford (-7.5) @ Washington

THE PICK: Stanford 40-15

WHY?  This can be a beartrap dogtrap for the Cardinal but not this year because Washington blows.  Literally was down 14-0 at home last week to Georgia State.

Cincinnati (+17) @ # 22 Ohio State

THE PICK: Ohio State 23-19

WHY?  Learn your history.  Of course, this year's Buckeyes would somehow be an even bigger bullshit fluke champ than that year's.

North Carolina (+15) @ Clemson

THE PICK: North Carolina 44-41 (OT)

WHY?  1) http://gripsanatomy.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-top-10-clemsonings-of-past-10-1.html

2) http://gripsanatomy.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-top-10-clemsonings-of-past-10-1_24.html

3) http://gripsanatomy.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-top-10-clemsonings-of-past-10-1_46.html

4) http://gripsanatomy.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-top-10-clemsonings-of-past-10-1_59.html

5) http://gripsanatomy.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-top-10-clemsonings-of-past-10-1_76.html

Missouri (+6) @ # 13 South Carolina

THE PICK: South Carolina 29-18

WHY?  There's some joke in here about Michael Sam and Cocks but...nevermind.

Duke (+7) @ Miami (FL) 

THE PICK: Miami 34-27

WHY?  Duke Johnson is the best Duke.

Oregon State (+8.5) @ # 18 USC

THE PICK: Oregon State 28-21

WHY?  Because women always have the power, especially when they've got the MANnion wrapped around their finger.

ANATOMY OF A PILOT: How To Get Away With Murder

Everyone likes getting in on the ground floor of something.  And I've run out of TV dramas to watch.  Breaking Bad is over.  Mad Men and Justified are about to be.  I guess I could throw myself back in to The Americans but I was more erratic with my watching of that first season than Phillip and Elizabeth were with their marriage (yes, I've heard the second season owns - maybe I'll get to it.)  So what else is there?  Fargo?  Never saw the movie and not sure if I have the patience.  House of Cards?  Heard it's a huge disappointment and Kate Mara doesn't get naked.  Orange Is The New Black?  Now that that's become THE hipster show, nahhhhhh.  #winteriscoming so maybe that's something but that's that hipster/nerd crossover, which is like combing AIDS with Ebola so idk.  What do you notice about all of those shows?  They're all on cable or premium television.  Broadcast TV is dead.  Or so it seems.  I don't want broadcast TV to be dead.  So now that I'm unemployed and can do such, I'm going to give any serialized drama on broadcast TV that looks remotely interesting a shot.  First up: #HowToGetAwayWithMurder

So - in brief - what's this show all about?

Viola Davis aka "The Snot Nosed Woman From 'Doubt" is a Philadelphia criminal law professor who gets herself and her students tangled up in a murder plot somehow.  Here's a more detailed description from the program guide: "A ruthless defense attorney and no-nonsense law professor at a Philadelphia university selects a group of her best students to work at her firm in the premiere of this drama, but they soon find themselves entangled in a real-life murder conspiracy."

Why should I care?

Just click me. Seriously.  The way she says the show's title is just......jesus.  This better not suck.  I'm WAY too hype from that one line in the trailer alone for this to suck.

Alright, off we go.  Posting this now, updating it in an hour or whenever I get done watching.  Please don't suck.

SPOILER ALERT: It didn't suck!  Hooray!

I'm not doing a full review of the show.  There are plenty of people scattered across the internet who are paid to do that.  In fact, I will use the review of the person who's best at it as my source material for my #hottakes on what I just witnessed.

Why? Well, the first show has the great and powerful Viola Davis, and the second show (at least in the pilot) has a whole bunch of people who mainly remind you of all the ways in which they are not Viola Davis.

Okay, first of all - this isn't fair.  This is like if Sepinwall reviewed some sort of sports reality show competition in which his beloved Yankees auditioned a bunch of shortstops to be the Next Derek Jeter and Jeter himself was the Viola Davis of this show and Sepinwall complained after the first episode that the four main wannabe Jeters aren't Jeter.

I liked each of the Core Four, particularly Alfred Enoch, whom Sepinwall specifically takes to task:

Enoch is presented as even more of a lead in the pilot than Davis (things balance out more in episode 2), but maybe doesn't have the gravity to pull off that prominent a role. It doesn't help that his American accent (Enoch played Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter films) at times makes his voice very high-pitched and squeaky, circling around the outer rim of Urkel territory. 

See, I COMPLETELY disagree.  I quite enjoyed Enoch's whatever-the-opposite-of-gravitas-is performance.  Sure, he played a stock type "overwhelmed law student who's dumber and/or less qualified than everyone else in the room" but he hit all the right notes - starting with the pathetic "game" he spat at Aja Naomi ("I'm not usually a first row kinda guy but I told myself I wouldn't hide in the back of the class,".....I mean....C'MON MAN), continuing with his squirming-to-BS-his-way-through-the-Socratic-method and then ending with his sheer shock and terror when he walks in on (SPOILER ALERT) 

Viola Davis receiving oral sex from the lead detective on the case of the week, a black man who is most definitely not her white, Psychology professing husband.

(END SPOILER ALERT)

So after that spoiler alert happens, he's basically in a glass case of emotions any time he interacts with Viola Davis and he conveys this well.  It's that kind of major scene that pilots need to not only put their pieces on the board but to create stakes and connections between characters.  I saw it coming as soon as he walked in the left-unlocked door to her "office" and I loved it anyway.

I wasn't as thrilled with the other Core Four students other than Aja Naomi King because (a) she's freaking gorgeous as hell and (b) she plays a smart, shy, cool and collected type well and is something of a mediator of all the frantic freaking out of the other three when it's time to dispose of the body.  There's way too much going on in this episode and she plays the everyman part of the viewer well - slowly taking it all in and learning.  She captures my eye every time she's on screen not just because she's a gorgeous black girl (a rarity - which is NOT to say that gorgeous black girls are rare moreso that they're rare on broadcast TV shows) but also because she seems to know who her character is and playing her to a T.

Jack Falahee is basically a poor man's Elijah from Girls which isn't exactly a compliment since Elijah from Girls is best in small doses and Falahee's a main character.  It was cool how he got the e-mail from the gay Chinese guy by seducing him but he's done little to show me that he's anything other than ABC's Newest Token Gay (Stonestreet's straight IRL but whatever.)  I don't mean to criticize ABC for populating its shows with gay characters - quite the opposite, actually - but Falahee seems to lack any sort of depth thus far (ooh he's an uptight smartass - I'm one of those and I don't even have to SHOCK everyone with graphic homosexual sex scenes!) and is just there to say We're Here We're Queer Get Used To It!

Karla Souza left little impression on me other than that she's an uglier, less interesting Jordana Brewster from Dallas.  That's not a TOTAL diss - Elena's easily my favorite female character on that show - but until she does more to make me care about her, I'm not writing more about her.

Back to VD.  She chews scenery throughout and it's awesome.  Every single scene she's in is just awesome.  If she doesn't get an Emmy nomination, somebody needs to play the race card or I will.  God, she is so good.  She may keep me watching even if the Core Four's murder cover up goes completely off the rails - which it probably will but whatever.  I'm in for next week and maybe I'll write some more words about it if I'm in the mood.

NEXT POSTS UP:

1) ANATOMY OF A PREMIERE: Survivor Blood vs Water 2 - OFF THE ROCKER
2) ANATOMY OF A PILOT: Gotham
3) Saturday Selections: September 27

ANATOMY OF: Thursday Night Football, September 25, 2014

Every Thursday, I'll pick the major football games on the schedule - college and pro.  Using the foolproof formula I've created, I'll start with two team logos that may or may not be OFFICIAL team logos, then give the spread, my pick (with an exact score starting tonight!), three reasons why my pick will be right and three reasons why it will be wrong.  After all the games are final, I'll edit in What Happened? and Why It Happened?

But before we begin, I present to you, the OFFICIAL theme song of ANATOMY OF: Thursday Night Football.  That's right RiRi, you might not be good enough for OWG CBS but you're good enough for me ;)

Texas Tech Re_ Rai_ers (+14.5) @ # 24 Oklahoma State Cowboys

THE PICK: Oklahoma State 65, Texas Tech 45 (1-0 SU, 0-1 ATS)

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) Because when these two hook up and it's a shootout, the Pokes tend to win.  Example A

2) Example B

3) But this time it won't be close because Texas Tech's defense is a mess even by Texas Tech standards right now.

THREE REASONS WHY NOT?

1) http://www.sportingcharts.com/dictionary/sports-betting/back-door-cover.aspx

2) Seriously if these two are just gonna trade touchdowns all game, it's gonna be hard for the Pokes to win by three of them.

3) As confident as I am in the hosts tonight, we're still not really sure how good either team is.  Yeah the Cowboys pushed Florida State really hard in week 1 but OF COURSE they were gonna give their best shot to the defending national champs on the biggest of stages.  Yeah Texas Tech literally had a train run on it by Arkansas (okay maybe not literally) (that hyperlink is "not safe for work") but what if Arkansas has one of the best rushing attacks in the country?  This is a pretty big spread for a game in which both teams should score on each other at will.  Also as I type this this game has started and Texas Tech leads 7-0 and just came up with an interception.  Still got the Pokes to pull off the comeback though!

WHAT HAPPENED?

The Pokes pulled off the comeback!  :)  But didn't cover :(  Hey, at least I got one team's score right!  :)  Except the other team was the one who scored that amount of points :( Oklahoma State 45-35.

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

I don't know, why is the sky blue?  Why won't Molly McGrath dump the zero that is Alec Martinez and get with the hero that is me?  Who the hell knows why Oklahoma State always wins shootouts between these two?  It just happens.

New York Giants (+3) @ Washington REDACTEDs

THE PICK: Giants 25, REDACTEDs 22 (1-0 SU, 1-0 ATS)

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) #neverforget

2) #neverforget

3) Seriously, #neverforget  When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.  And this is their first EVER home game on CBS's Thursday Night Football?  Holy shit.  NOTHING is off the table tonight.  NOTHING.

THREE REASONS WHY NOT?

1) Kirk Cousins has provided such a brand new infusion of life to this franchise that they should do what they should've done when they took RG3AndOut - rebrand themselves with a non racist name and logo and start all over again.

2) DeSean Jackson against the Giants?  What ever could go wrong?

3) This is a Thursday Night Football game so it's probably going to suck.  Play it safe and take the home team.  Unless of course you've hated the home team since 1996 or so and you take any chance you can get to make fun of them.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Derek Jeter passed his God of New York torch on to LARRY MOTHER FUCKING DONNELL RAWLINGS BITCHES.  Also Kirk Cousins got picked again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  Giants 45-14.

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Seriously, #neverforget  When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.

# 11 UCLA Bruins (-3) @ # 15 Arizona State Sun Devils

THE PICK: UCLA 31, Arizona State 17 (2-0 SU, 1-1 ATS)

THREE REASONS WHY?

1) UCLA's QB is starting and Arizona State's QB isn't.

2) Seriously, if I can't even pronounce your backup's name, there's just no chance I'm giving him any respect.

3) UCLA's the better top to bottom team anyways.  They survived a massive fight against Texas IN Texas last Saturday without Hundley so they're Road Tested© to boot.

THREE REASONS WHY NOT?

1) I'm just going to say what we're all thinking. We're all just waiting for the Arizona State cheerleaders to do this, aren't we?

2) This should be a red hot atmosphere. This could be an early Pac-12 South elimination game and thusly an early College Football Playoff elimination game. The Sun Devils - defending Pac-12 South Champions - aren't gonna give up their crown easily.

3) What IF UCLA isn't better top to bottom? Arizona State got out to a 35-13 lead by halftime AT UCLA last season. Taylor Kelly didn't do that by himself. These two teams have played one possession wars that have gone down to the wire each of the past two seasons. The road team won both of those. The home team is due.

WHAT HAPPENED?

UCLA gave Todd Graham an ass whipping Todd Graham's Pitt players only wish they could've.  UCLA 62-27.

WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

Because UCLA remembered it's supposed to be a fringe College Football Playoff contender and Brett Hundley remembered he's supposed to be a fringe Heisman candidate.  Now they have their chances to get off the fringe in two weeks when Oregon visits the Rose Bowl.  Yeah that's going to be not not fun.

Check back later tonight when I edit in What Happened? and Why It Happened? for each game.  Since there's a West Coast game, those edits won't happen until the wee hours of the morning so....check back tomorrow?

NEXT POSTS UP:

1) ANATOMY OF A PILOT: How To Get Away With Murder
2) ANATOMY OF A PILOT: Gotham
3) ANATOMY OF A PREMIERE: Survivor: Blood vs Water 2 - OFF THE ROCKER
4) Saturday Selections - September 27

Those may not come in that order tomorrow today but I should be able to complete them all - provided, of course, I can get through THIS Friday without a fucking nuclear bomb dropping all over my football team and life.  5-1 of #Clemsoning will be sometime next week.  Yeah, that's way past the expiration date and no one will care after Clemson hangs a bazillion points on UNC this weekend.  What, like you actually thought I knew how to run a blog properly or something?

#TBT ANATOMY OF: A "Simpsons" Classic - "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington"

It's #TBT aka #throwbackthursday aka I'm participating by writing a little bit about a classic Simpsons episode I have saved on my DVR before deleting it so my mom will complain a little bit less about the DVR being crowded.  Today's episode is "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington."  For the nuts and bolts about the episode, click here

Lisa's essay that wins her the titular trip to Washington has a 300 word limit.  To both pay tribute to the episode as well as prevent myself from writing another way too long ANATOMY OF: post, I'm capping my review of this episode at 300 words - starting after this paragraph - and then listing my 10 favorite jokes from the episode (this will be how I close out these weekly #TBT posts.)

This is a season 3 Simpsons episode so it's not quite clicking on all cylinders yet.  There's just not a lot of humor here other than the focused satire of Washington and Congress being corrupt and all that jazz.  At least the basic notes with the core family members are hit.  It's a Lisa episode so she gets to do her thing throughout.  Homer's obsession with Reader's Digest is hilarious, even if a little before its time since it came literally a full decade BEFORE he got the crayon out of his brain and his gleeful enjoyment of the "all expenses paid trip" to D.C. is fun (too bad he didn't enjoy the marked limo ride.)  Bart is classic early Bart, trolling the shit out of people in D.C. by hitting all the buttons for every floor on the elevator, going HAM in The Spirit of St. Louis and slingshotting the annoying pianist.  Marge does very little (as usual) other than joke about how the Washington Monument looks like a penis...but she DOES drop a top 5 joke of the episode late on.

The pantomime villain of the episode is Springfield's Congressman Bob Arnold, who takes a bribe for cutting down Springfield Forest at the Winifred Beecher Howe Memorial because, as he says to the lobbyist, "I told you no one ever came here."  And he's probably right - a memorial of a fictional historical women's rights activist probably isn't a top tourist trap and thus great for taking bribes.  Anyway Lisa sees this and decides to drop TRUTH BOMBS in her NEW essay & gets the guy (and other corrupt Congressmen) arrested.  Her essay loses, of course, but she still gets a portion of the prize via the winner's acknowledgment of her courage.  Good stuff.  The end.

That's 300 words on the dot, if you're counting (I was!)  I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so proud of myself.  Anyway, time for my 10 favorite jokes from the episode, counting down from 10.  Hyperlinks to Youtube will be provided whenever possible, of course.

10) "Ugh, you have those damn badges.  Okay!  This tub was installed in 1894..." - Barbara Bush
9) "Congressman this is Springfield National Forest.  Basically what we wanna do is....cut her down!" - Jerry
8) Yeah! Damn right!! (this was re: a HOF NELSON MUNTZ speech about AMURRIKH)
7) "Bart, maybe this is something you'd like to do too!" - Marge.  "Mom, it's a nice thought, but we both know that THIS *pointing to Lisa* is the pony to bet on," Bart.
6) Lousy cheap country...
5) "Imprisoned Congressman Becomes Born Again Christian," - Marge (it's funny because it's true.)
4) ""You don't wanna eat? What'd you do, get one of those stomach staples?" - Lenny
3) "We the Purple?" What the hell was that?
2) "We have quite a few women Senators, you know!" - Bob Arnold. "Only 2, I checked," - Lisa. "Ahaha, you're a sharp one." - Bob Arnold. (keep in mind that this was 20 years ago. Look at all the progress the Republicans have made! They've DOUBLED that number!!!)
1) Aww, isn't that nice? A politician who CARES!/If I ever vote it'll be for him!


Well, hope you enjoyed this and sorry if I got too political at times.  It was, after all, a political episode.  Check back next Thursday when I do a #TBT on one of the other 18 classic Simpsons episodes eating up space on my DVR.  Until then, stick around and read some of the other stuff on this blog!  The other posts are longer and less political!  You'll like them!

The Top 10 #Clemsonings of the past 10 (+1) Years - 6. August 30, 2003 - # 9 Georgia 30, Clemson 0

Last Saturday's #Clemsoning inspired the re-starting of this blog so thank Clemson for that....but it also got me thinking, "Gee, I've been #blessed enough to witness tons and tons of #Clemsonings in the past decade or so.  What are the ten best #Clemsonings of the #Clemsonings?"  Well I made a list and checked it twice.  10-6 are being posted today.  5-1 will be posted later this week (or next week if I don't have the time/get writer's block/something comes up.)  Spoilers: # 1 Florida State 23, # 22 Clemson 17 (OT) is # 2.  That was a seriously epic #Clemsoning - and the best football #Clemsoning of the past 10(+1) years.  But it wasn't # 1 because # 1 was the continuation of something.......bigger.  You could even say it's something that even The Undertaker at Wrestlemania (before he got #CONQUERED) would be amazed at.  But that's for later this week - or next week.  Anyway, here's # 6.

6. August 30, 2003 - # 9 Georgia 30, Clemson 0

http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=232420228

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9WONZs_Y64

(image from http://www.shakinthesouthland.com/2010/7/31/1579531/the-worst-of-the-2000s-1-georgia .  Their recap of that game is much, MUCH better than the one you're about to read.)

Okay, I cheated.  This one is slightly over a decade ago.  But it’s got Gary Danielson on an SEC game - a rarity back then but a weekly occurrence now - so I’m grandfathering it in to the past ten years.

I actually watched this game.  For me, it was THE game of opening weekend that year.  You had the defending SEC champions going on the road to face their border rival whom they SHOULD play every year or damn near close to it but it seems like both sides are cool with a home and home every 10 years or so if you look at the history.  Anyway, that 2002 Georgia team was LOADED - if there was a playoff back then, I ABSOLUTELY think they beat Ohio State if matched up with them - but they lost a ton of people off that team and had a bunch of injuries and a bunch of guys pawned their championship rings because they literally couldn’t get jobs because NCAA so they had to find an alternative way to make money.  The point is that Georgia was going through a ton of turnover and turmoil whereas Clemson was coming in to the new season ready to wipe away the painful memories of their Honorable Mention Clemsoning at the hands of all time great Kliff Kingsbury in a bowl game where they were unable to score the requisite points to keep up and it showed.  Surely they were hungry to score some points in their 03 opener.

Yeah, well, SPOILERS that didn’t happen.

This is another one I have very few memories of because it happened 11 years ago.  I don’t even remember how old I was or what grade I was entering that fall.  So I’m just going to FJM the game recap and call it a day. Again, this is a FAR better recap of this game than I can give. So yeah, time for my very best effort to FJM the ESPN game recap:

Quarterback Charlie Whitehurst and center Tommy Sharp fumbled a snap, which was recovered by Georgia's Marcus Jackson near midfield.

Ahahahahahahahahaahaha

Another drive ended when receiver Derrick Hamilton had the ball stripped and it flew right to safety Sean Jones.

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On fourth-and-2 from Georgia's 4, Whitehurst pitched to tailback Duane Coleman, who tried a pass to the quarterback in the left corner of the end zone. Coleman's throw hung in the air, though, and gave 270-pound lineman Robert Geathers enough time to break it up.

Ahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaahaha

The Tigers, down 16-0, had one last opportunity to get back in it with a first-and-goal from the 3 in the final period. Pollack picked a screen pass out of the air for the interception.

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Clemson hadn't been shutout at home since a 37-0 loss to Virginia Tech in 1998, the last season under coach Tommy West. It was also the first time Georgia held the Tigers scoreless in 15 games since a 12-0 defeat in 1978.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha

Okay I’m done! Be sure to check back later this week (or maybe next week) for part 2 with the top 5 #Clemsonings of the past 10 years!