Tuesday, September 23, 2014

ANATOMY OF: NFL Week 3



























 

 
San Diego Chargers (-1) @ Buffalo Bills
THE PICK: Bills (0-1 SU, 0-1 ATS)

THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. West Coast team flying to New York (NOT New Jersey so don’t even come at me with Cardinals/Giants from last week)
  2. Bills legit gonna have best home crowd in football and maybe an all time historically great run of best home crowds now that Terry Pegula has kept the team in Buffalo and Jim Kelly has beaten cancer.
  3. C.J. Spiller and Sammy Watkins.  The Sabres had the FRENCH CONNECTION.  The Bills have the CLEMSON CONNECTION.  And ultimately neither will win a championship but that’s okay!  Buffalo loves them anyway.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Phil Rivers looks like he’s gonna have a Good Phil Rivers season
  3. This COULD be the week Mike McCoy remembers he has Ladarius Green on his team.  COULD.  I want to believe.  As a fantasy owner who is literally counting on Niles Paul and Eric Ebron in a 2 TE league, I NEED to believe.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Chargers led throughout - thanks in large part to Mike McCoy remembering he had Ladarius Green on his team (4 catches, 64 yards - that’s a start!) and won 22-10.  Nobody cared.  I don’t think I saw a single second of this game on RedZone.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
The Chargers are really good.  Didn’t miss a beat with no Ryan Mathews, didn’t miss a beat with Keenan Allen purposely no-showing to make Shermdog look even worse for not being able to cover him last week….these guys are gonna push Denver all year and I can’t wait for their two matchups.  The first is on Thursday, October 23 in Denver; last year, the Chargers shocked the Broncos on a Thursday nighter in Denver in what was Allen’s national coming out party.  As for the Bills, they did what Buffalo teams do - kick their fans in the balls whenever their hopes are up.





 








Dallas Cowboys (pk) @ St. Louis Rams
THE PICK: Cowboys (1-1 SU, 1-1 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. This isn’t the type of game the Cowboys lose.  It’s a 1 PM FOX game nobody outside of Big 12 country gets.
  2. The Rams literally almost lost to the Bucs.
  3. The Rams literally have a third stringer from Southern Mississippi - 3-25 over the past 2 years and 1 month of college football - starting at quarterback.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. A third stringer from Southern Mississippi - 3-25 over the past 2 years and 1 month of college football - beating the Dallas Cowboys would be just so Dallas Cowboys.
  2. Tony Romo
  3. This COULD be the week DeMarco Murray gets hurt.  Or Dez Bryant fights one of his teammates on the sideline.  Or Josh Brent gets drunk and drives a car 100 miles an hour on to the sideline and kills more of his teammates (but he’s still allowed to play football in 10 weeks whereas Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and Greg Hardy probably will not be even though they didn’t FUCKING KILL ONE OF THEIR OWN TEAMMATES DRIVING DRUNK ONE HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR.)
WHAT HAPPENED?
The Rams led for a while and then did their best Manchester United impression with an epic collapse.  Cowboys won 34-31.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
The Rams are the Rams and the Cowboys are a team well equipped to come from behind because when Romo can just say fuck it and start chucking with nothing resembling pressure on his shoulders, he’s actually a really damn good QB.  Also, Terrence Williams continues to be arguably the most under the radar receiver in the NFL - which is even more stunning considering he’s on the Cowboys.  Maybe he needs to be an asshole on the sidelines more to grab some attention.
























Washington REDACTEDs (+7) @ Philadelphia Eagles
THE PICK: Eagles straight up, REDACTEDs cover (2-1 SU, 2-1 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. A touchdown spread for a division game is nuts.  Especially an NFC East game since that division literally has everyone hating the shit out of each other like no other division in football.
  2. The REDACTEDs should be able to play freely, openly and with confidence now that they’ll have their best quarterback starting for them for the forseeable future and the first returns of evidence to that end came last week.
  3. HOF NILES PAUL WILL TRADE TOUCHDOWNS WITH ZACH ERTZ IT’S A TE SHOOTOUT FOLKS
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. The Eagles are really good and might have the best offense in the NFC.
  2. Kirk Cousins wasn’t even particularly good at Michigan State.  Nick Foles was better at Arizona and he’s a LOT better in the pros now that he’s got Chip Kelly tutoring him as opposed to Mike Shanahan and now Jay Gruden.
  3. The REDACTEDs still suck and playing the Jaguars last week masked that, they’re about to get their whuppin.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Lots of things in an epic Eagles 37-34 win.  Oh and a fight broke out too.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because like I literally wrote before this game happened: “A touchdown spread for a division game is nuts.  Especially an NFC East game since that division literally has everyone hating the shit out of each other like no other division in football.”  Also, DeSean Jackson has been that guido in Superbad literally waking up every morning praying for a fuckin fight ever since the Eagles cut him for his “gang ties.”






















Houston Texans (+1) @ New York Giants
THE PICK: Giants (3-1 SU, 3-1 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. The Giants being favorites on their home field after crapping all over it last week AND the Texans being underdogs after crapping all over DA RAIDAZ last week?  Those are both just WAY too shady.  Vegas knows something’s up.  Giants win.
  2. Let’s try and figure out what Vegas knows, shall we?  Well they know that like the REDACTEDs the Texans looked way better than they are against a Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS front runner last week.
  3. Yeah, the Giants looked horrible last week but Arizona won in freaking Seattle last season and they literally would’ve made the playoffs if they played in any other division.  They’re good and the Giants were right there with them until they forgot how to cover punts and hold on to the football.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. The only favorites the Giants deserve to be are Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS favorites.  Seriously, imagine Jameis on the Giants next year.  Just imagine it for a minute.  Are you excited?  Are you hard?  Wait, don’t answer that second one.
  2. The Texans might actually be good this year.  Bill O’Brien looks the part of an excellent NFL coach and two double digit wins are two double digit wins.  There’s a reason you don’t see double digit spreads in the NFL hardly ever.
  3. If JJ Watt’s gonna start “doing a Vrabel” on a weekly basis, it might be all over for everyone.
WHAT HAPPENED?
As usual, Vegas knows.  Giants cruised, 30-17.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because Nuk Hopkins can’t win a football game all by himself but God bless him for trying.  Because Rashad Jennings had a career day - 34 carries, 176 yards.  Because Victor Cruz decided to be the Victor Cruz of old for a week and the rest of the Giants receivers didn’t drop passes like dumbasses so Eli was able to put up some nice numbers (21/28, 234 yards, 2 TD, no picks.)  If the Giants play like this, they could give the Eagles a real fight for the division.  More likely, they’ll be involved in a brawl with the REDACTEDs and Cowboys for second.



















Minnesota Vikings (+11.5) @ New Orleans Saints
THE PICK: Saints (3-2 SU, 3-2 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. I tried talking myself in to the Vikings (against the spread, anyways).....and then I remembered that Brees and the boys are gonna be PISSED after losing to the fucking Browns last week.  They’re back in the dome now for their first home game of the young season.  This might be a hiding.
  2. The Vikings backfield is Matt Cassel and Matt Asiata.  Never has Matt sounded like a less intimidating name.
  3. Drew Brees in the Superdome.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Cordarrelle Patterson scoring touchdowns in as many different ways as the Falcons did against the Bucs
  2. Either Matt Asiata starts playing like he’s on that unbeaten Utah team (second one not the first one) or JERICK MCKINNON comes in and does his best Darren Sproles impression.
  3. Drew Brees gets Theismann’d (not hyperlinking to it.)
WHAT HAPPENED?
TEDDY BIG BALLS MADE HIS DEBUT THAT’S WHAT GOD DAMN HAPPENED.  Oh and the Saints won 20-9, missing the cover by half a point.  Oh Vegas.  Why you so exact with your numbers?
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
The Saints are still injuring people on purpose - or that’s what I want to believe.  I want to believe they knocked out turd Cassel to force the tone deaf Vikings organization in to pressing the Bridgewater alarm.  This was a pretty crappy Saints performance and a second straight goose egg fantasy performance from Marques “Oh that’s right I’m a crap 7th round talent from Delaware” Colston before he finally got in the endzone.  But they won and (almost) covered so on to the next one.  As for the Vikings, they host the Falcons next week so hell yeah time to get HYPE for Teddy’s home debut.

















Tennessee Titans (+7) @ Cincinnati Bengals
THE PICK: Bengals (4-2 SU, 4-2 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Bengals have a case that they’re the favorite in the AFC.  And they’re good enough at home - especially defensively - that if they end up with the 1 seed - which is very possible - they’re gonna be the odds on favorite to come out of the AFC.
  2. Gio Bernard and Jeremy Hill - assuming the latter hasn’t been recalled back to LSU after last night - might be the new best 1-2 punch in football.
  3. Looks like A.J. Green is playing so the Bengals are about to get even better.  That’s just fantastic.  That just makes me so happy.  Wait no, it makes me the opposite of so happy.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Andy Dalton
  2. Kendall Wright and Justin Hunter both go off at the same time somehow and so does NATE WASH
  3. The Titans win one for Rob Bironas.  R.I.P.  Seriously still can’t believe he’s dead.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The Bengals sent out an emphatic statement of intent to the rest of the AFC with a 33-7 switching.  They’re the most complete team in football for my money.  Andy Dalton even caught a touchdown and broke a tackle en route to said touchdown for God’s sake.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because as I just said, the Bengals are the most complete team in football.  They’re the favorites to get the 1 seed considering they’ve already won their toughest division game of the year - especially if they win on Sunday night in New England (good to see we’ll have a proper Sunday nighter after this week’s abortion) - and it’s almost impossible to see any of their remaining home opponents (Carolina, Baltimore, Jacksonville, Cleveland, Pittsburgh) beating them before an epic Monday night showdown with the Peytons three days before Christmas that could very well determine home field throughout the AFC playoffs.  Hopefully SOMETHING in this paragraph jinxes all of this because I already openly don’t enjoy this Ravens season and we haven’t even limped to 8-8 or 9-7 and (maybe) a wild card yet.

















Baltimore Ravens (-1) @ Cleveland Browns
THE PICK: Ravens, then Browns after the Ravens are rightfully contracted at the start of business on Monday (4-3 SU, 4-3 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Contract the Ravens.  Seriously.  Baltimore started over with a new football team once already.  We can do it again.
  2. Fuck you, Steve Bisciotti.  I - and all the other Ravens fans who are also Terps fans - loved you and I cheered you wildly every time you came on the scoreboard video screen at Comcast Center when I was a student at Maryland.  You broke my heart.  You’re just another piece of shit 1%er who has no moral code and makes literally every decision based on what’s BEST FOR BUSINESS.
  3. Thank you, John Harbaugh, for being you.  Ozzie Newsome gets a pass because he clearly saw Ray Rice as a son and at least was honest after we cut him instead of being a piece of shit who offered him a job solely to keep his mouth shut like scumbag Bisciotti.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. LOL as if Roger Goodell would contract a team.  Everyone in the Ravens organization could post videos of them beheading journalists and THAT wouldn’t be enough for Roger Goodell to contract us.
  2. The Cleveland Browns have a pathetic enough history that it’s ABSOLUTELY believable that they could find a way to lose to a contracted team even AFTER that team is contracted.
  3. I’m out of jokes.  I’m just going to say that in a sick way, I feel justified in my lack of joy over our last title.  We didn’t earn it.  We didn’t deserve it.  We were maybe not even a top 10 team in football and if Steve Bisciotti hadn’t told Darren Sanders to take Rahim Moore’s family hostage and only let them go if he threw that divisional round game, we would have gone out in round 2 like we were supposed to and maybe we wouldn’t have given Flacco $120 million and maybe WE’D be the favorites in the Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS sweepstakes.  But alas, we fluked in to that undeserved title, overpaid our shitty quarterback because he got hot (read: didn’t turn the ball over for a change) and now it’s come out that we’re a scumbag franchise full of scumbags and everyone’s piling on so much that people are bringing the fucking Ray Lewis jokes out of retirement.  I just hate everything.  That’s going to be a common theme with this blog.  I just hate everything.
WHAT HAPPENED?
A back and forth game ended with a Justin Tucker field goal at the buzzer to give “my” team a 23-21 “victory.”  Sadly, “my” team has not been contracted yet as of this writing.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Our rookie running back who got arrested in May before fucking training camp even started - never mind the season - had a nice game.  #contracttheravens




























Green Bay Packers (+2) @ Detroit Lions
THE PICK: Packers (4-4 SU, 4-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Wait, the Packers are underdogs?  Seriously?
  2. No, seriously, is Vegas on drugs?
  3. WHAT IS THE LOGIC HERE?  Oh right we have to pretend the Packers 20 point loss to the Seahawks on opening night wasn’t a massive outlier that means nothing for a few more weeks.  Okay.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Megatron
  2. Say it with me - ERIC EBRON BREAKOUT WEEK (we will be saying this weekly because I fucking need him)
  3. What if the Packers really DO suck?  What if neither Rodgers nor Eddie Lacy are never quite right after their respective injuries last year and this year?  What if the entire receiving corps gets hurt again because the Packers have worse injury luck than any team in the league?  What if the defense is so terrible that the offense can’t keep up?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I was horribly wrong and feel ashamed.  On the other hand, who the hell saw the Lions defense refusing to Rodgers a discount double check on the amount of switch whipping they gave him?
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
The Lions D got pissed that everyone was making fun of them for passing on Kyle Fuller all week and allowing him to go to a division rival.  Also the Lions have pretty much always brought it for home games with the Packers no matter the records - Thanksgiving or otherwise.  The Packers…..well…..they got some issues.  A lot of issues.  They’re lucky they’re not 0-3.  And now they have to go to Soldier Field next week.  At least the Bears will be on a short week and at least it will be the ultimate desperation game for the Cheeseheads because there’s almost assuredly no way back from 1-3 and 0-2 in the NFC North (especially not when they only have four days to prepare for THEODORE BALLGAME afterwards.)
































Indianapolis Colts (-7.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars
THE PICK: Colts (5-4 SU, 5-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Short weeks don’t matter when you’re playing the Jaguars
  2. Vengeance week for the Colts.  They KNOW they let one get away on their home field on Monday night.  Time to take it out on the Jags.
  3. The REDACTEDs easily covered 7.5 against the Jags.  If Andrew Luck can’t, kick him out of the city and throw your hat in to the Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS ring.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. The Jags have had a way of almost always playing the Colts tough, especially at home.
  2. This COULD be The Blake Bortles Week.
  3. Allen Hurns continues to be the “where the fuck did this random come from?” leader in the clubhouse.
WHAT HAPPENED?
It WAS The Blake Bortles Week…...and it didn’t matter.  Colts 44-17 - and it wasn’t even that close.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because the Jaguars suck….but at least they’re in a good spot with Bortles.  If he shows them something, they can continue to try to win the Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS sweepstakes before fleecing someone RG3andout style for the # 1 pick.  If he doesn’t, they cut bait on him before he can further reveal himself to be Blaine Gabbert II and take Jameis.  Win win!  Sort of.
















Oakland Raiders (+15) @ New England Patriots
THE PICK: Raiders (against the spread of course; obviously the fucking Patriots are winning this don’t be dense) (6-4 SU, 6-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. This isn’t 2007.  The Patriots shouldn’t be double digit favorites against ANYONE.
  2. Seriously, the Raiders can lose by two touchdowns and still cover.
  3. A lot of times when a team is supposed to beat the crap out of another team, the intensity won’t be there and they won’t play well and thusly won’t cover.  Some have referred to this as “Milton Berle Theory”
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. The
  2. Oakland
  3. Raiders
WHAT HAPPENED?
Vince Wilfork - the man the Patriots took with the pick they got from the Ravens in exchange for the Ravens trading up to take Kyle Boller - picked off Derek Carr in the 59th minute to avoid the upset.  Patriots 16-9.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?



























San Francisco 49ERS (-2.5) @ Arizona Cardinals
THE PICK: Cardinals (7-4 SU, 7-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Colin Kaepernick is shaving points again just like last week because he’s got Arizona.
  2. Classic passing of the (second place in the NFC West) torch game.  Cardinals are trending up, Niners down.
  3. Seriously, it might be over for the Niners.  They’re old and Jim Harbaugh’s going to Michigan next year unless LSU TOTALLY tanks and Les Miles gets fired.  Oh wait I forgot the Ravens are getting contracted on Monday so Michigan will hire John Harbaugh sooner or later.  Okay well then Jim Harbaugh becomes the first coach to demand he’s traded.  That’s better.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Everyone’s been shitting on the Niners and Kap all week so yeah, they’re gonna kick ass and take names.
  2. Arizona’s simply not ready for the step up in weight class after playing the Giants last week.
  3. Drew Stanton lightning doesn’t strike twice.
WHAT HAPPENED?
John Brown happened.  Cardinals 23-14.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Bruce Arians continues to be a master of the halftime speech.  That’s two comeback victories for the Cardinals and they go in to their bye week 3-0 - one of three unbeatens left along with the Eagles and Bengals.  Too bad they have to go to Denver coming out of the bye week but hey, if there’s one QB you want an extra week to prepare for, it’s Peyton Manning.  It could be worse.













Denver Broncos (+4.5) @ Seattle Seahawks
THE PICK: Seahawks (8-4 SU, 8-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. I like the theory that someone presented in the Bill Simmons mailbag this week that the Chargers talked all kinds of shit about Sherman and the rest of LOB to get them nice and pissed and ready to eat Peyton’s soul again.
  2. Seattle at home
  3. Seattle at home again.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Revenge game
  2. As if Peyton Manning didn’t spend the whole summer figuring out how to beat LOB
  3. Seriously, this is THE revenge game of revenge games.
WHAT HAPPENED?
A far more entertaining game then their last one.  Maybe if the Broncos had Emmanuel Sanders for that one they could’ve come within 20.  But they had him yesterday and he just went OFF - as did Peyton in the fourth to push this to overtime before Russell Wilson did what Russell Wilson does in front of his people and Marshawn Lynch wrapped it up.  Seahawks 26-20 in overtime.


WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
This was always going to be a war because obviously.  Seattle controlled things most of the way before Peyton made his move.  Richard Sherman LOCKED DOWN Mary Thomas so I can’t wait to hear if he runs his mouth this week.  Too bad this wasn’t the Super Bowl.













Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5) @ Miami Dolphins

THE PICK: Chiefs (9-4 SU, 9-4 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Another spread that makes less than no sense.  Chiefs almost win in Denver and now they’re 3.5 dogs to the fucking Dolphins?  What?
  3. The Dolphins have the 30th worst home field advantage in the league but somehow only the third worst in the state of Florida.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. The Chiefs getting more than a field goal is just the trappiest of trap lines.
  2. If the Chiefs are down 4 or more at the 2 minute warning, it’s all over.
  3. The Chiefs lay a Chiefs style massive egg.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Alex Smith balled out and the Dolphins suck and should burn the all teals.  Also Knile Davis stepped in for Jam Charles and ran like the Knile Davis at Arkansas BEFORE he ripped up his ankle.  Chiefs 34-15.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because it looks like the Chiefs are still pretty good - with or without their superstar running back - and won’t be falling completely off the map like they did after their last playoff appearance.  As for the Dolphins, apparently they always had even bigger problems than a homoerotic feud between starting linemen.  Like at quarterback.  Ryan Tannehill’s not the answer.  He’s just not.  He never will be.  He’s a converted receiver playing quarterback and his stats at Texas A&M only look good if you forget that he was succeeded by Johnny “Johnny Football” Manziel and Kenny “Kenny Heisman” Hill.  His wife’s super hot though and guns turn her on if that’s your thing.













Pittsburgh Steelers (+3) @ Carolina Panthers

THE PICK: Panthers (9-5 SU, 9-5 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. The Steelers drove right down the field on us on the opening drive on that Thursday nighter last week.  I thought we were in trouble.  And then they just stopped playing.
  2. I’m not gonna go in to why the Steelers suck now.  Bill Barnwell did a lot better job of that than me recently.
  3. CAM
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  3. Piece of shit Troy Polamalu headhunts CAM on a scramble and suddenly it’s Derek Anderson time.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The Panthers embarrassed themselves in front of their “home crowd” which was half their fans, half Steelers fans (and that’s being generous to their fans.)  This game single handedly made the case for flex scheduling being a thing from week 1 onward.  Steelers 37-19.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Because maybe Barnwell, myself and everyone else buried the Steelers prematurely.  Ben’s still good.  LeVeon Bell’s a great back.  Antonio Brown and Markus Wheaton can go at receiver.  If the defense can step up like Steelers defenses of old, a playoff spot is there for the taking.  Especially once the Ravens get contracted.  As for the Panthers, they really, really suck when CAM isn’t 100% but we knew that already.  Now that Atlanta’s good again, they’ll finish third in the NFC South (they might also finish fourth - the Bucs legit could find a way to finish 5th in a 4 team division.)













Chicago Bears (pk) @ New York Jets

THE PICK: Bears (10-5 SU, 10-5 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
  1. Seriously?  This was seriously a pick ‘em on 5dimes 10 minutes before kickoff?  I wouldn’t have typed it out if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.  Anyway yeah the Bears don’t suck whereas the Jets suck a lot.
  2. God dammit.  Really?  Why the fuck did I go broke gambling on the WNBA and tennis earlier this month?  Fuck
  3. I placed ONE bet on the WNBA.  One.  Singular.  It was on Maya Moore to go HAM in an elimination game.  I’m not a gambling addict.  At least not anymore.  You have to believe me.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
  1. Because this is the biggest trap line I’ve seen since Penn State was 3.5 point favorites over Rutgers.  They won by 3.  This means the Jets are winning tonight.
  2. Chris Johnson parties like it’s 2008 and goes OFF to the tune of 500 combined yards or some shit
  3. Geno gets hurt and V I C K just starts BALLING.  OUT.  OF.  CONTROL.
WHAT HAPPENED?

Geno got pick sixed right off the bat. He wasn't benched for Vick so of course the Jets lost. Oh and Matt Forte cost me my perfect season in a league in which I've tried harder at over the past four years than anything else - the embarrassing end to my failed college career included - so I'm pretty pissed about that. Then again the little child who beat me is having his 13th birthday today so happy birthday Manwich! Maybe your balls will drop as your body's birthday present to you. Hope you enjoyed my benching of Ladarius Green for that turd TE you traded me as mine.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?

In case you can't view this blog's images, the Jets are a clown car.  The Bears are pretty good, though they should've put this game away long before the final minute.  They should trade Matt Forte to some unsuspecting sucker because I own him in fantasy and any year I own Matt Forte in fantasy, he stinks for that entire year.












Well, that's a wrap for my first "anatomy of" an NFL week.  I know it probably seems like I made all of those picks today and made 5 wrong ones on purpose to throw you off my scent but I assure you that was not the case and all games were picked before kickoff.  Okay, Bears/Jets was picked when I got home at like 9:30 tonight and I hadn't looked at the score yet BUT THE REST ARE LEGITIMATE.  God, why did I have to go 10-5 straight up in a year I'm not in my usual picks pool and why did I have to go 10-5 in a week in which I had no money to gamble with?  Typical me.  Anyway if you're still reading this, thank you and please keep reading this blog.  Not all of my posts will be as long as these first two (and the FAQ!)  I promise.
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