Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Top 10 #Clemsonings of the past 10 (+1) Years - 9. 2009 NCAA Tournament - (10) Michigan 62, (7) Clemson 59

Last Saturday's #Clemsoning inspired the re-starting of this blog so thank Clemson for that....but it also got me thinking, "Gee, I've been #blessed enough to witness tons and tons of #Clemsonings in the past decade or so.  What are the ten best #Clemsonings of the #Clemsonings?"  Well I made a list and checked it twice.  10-6 are being posted today.  5-1 will be posted later this week (or next week if I don't have the time/get writer's block/something comes up.)  Spoilers: # 1 Florida State 23, # 22 Clemson 17 (OT) is # 2.  That was a seriously epic #Clemsoning - and the best football #Clemsoning of the past 10(+1) years.  But it wasn't # 1 because # 1 was the continuation of something.......bigger.  You could even say it's something that even The Undertaker at Wrestlemania (before he got #CONQUERED) would be amazed at.  But that's for later this week - or next week.  Anyway, here's # 9.

  1. 2009 NCAA Tournament - (10) Michigan 62, (7) Clemson 59

(image from )

Another fringe entry.  The South Carolina football game was more of an epic #Clemsoning because (a) it’s football (b) it’s a football loss to South Carolina and, most importantly, c) it involved someone named JAD choking which is just about the most #Clemsoning thing ever.

But this is a rung higher on the list because (a) it’s basketball and we’re alternating between football and hoops (b) it’s the NCAA tournament and Clemson lost to extend LOLiver Purnell’s hilarious NCAA tournament losing streak (6, still ongoing) as well as Clemson’s as a program (sadly has since been ended) and, most importantly, (c) it involved that piece of trash Tennessee hick Terrence Oglesby laying brick after brick after brick after brick and then getting ejected because he got mad as shit and threw some bows.  Being stupid enough to get yourself tossed from March Madness is a perfect example of Basketball #Clemsoning© .  But don’t worry: we’ve got plenty of better ones to come.

There’s not really a lot to talk about with this game.  It’s basically here because Clemson - after an epic choke in the tournament the year before that is higher up on this list - responded in the next year’s tournament by taking a gigantic shit all over the Sprint Center court that they probably STILL haven’t cleaned up and THAT’S the reason why Kansas City got passed over (again) in the latest round of (alleged) Clemson-level dumb NHL expansion.  They shot 15/52 from the floor and 2/16 from 3 point range in the first 34 minutes of the game as the little sidebar in the recap says.  It’s almost like they KNEW they were gonna be coached by Brad Brownell in the near future and were treating the game as a practice to show him that they would play his style of basketball EXACTLY the way he wanted it.  They fell down 16 points, stormed back because their opponent sucked equally as much and was equally as thirsty for an NCAA tournament win (they actually had a longer drought at the time than Clemson did) and then KC Rivers airballed a three for the tie to cap off the #Clemsoning.

Maybe my favorite part of this one is the post-script.  Of course Clemson was never going to fire LOLiver Purnell after he had taken them to back-to-back dances b/c  #neverforget Larry Shyatt.  But a tin pot school in Chicago decided it wanted to MAKE A SPLASH and they offered LOLiver a SEVEN YEAR CONTRACT.  SEVEN YEARS.  OF LOLIVER PURNELL.  THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DEPAUL AND YOU ARE A TOP 5 PUNCHLINE IN COLLEGE HOOPS.  Anyway, Clemson then decided that it wanted to kill its program so it hired Brad Brownell, a man who made exactly 3 NCAA tournaments in 8 combined years at UNC Wilmington and Wright State and who has annually has an offense that plays at a 245th (of 345 or so) or slower adjusted tempo (that’s really, really, REALLY slow.  And boring.  And awful.)  The end.

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