New York Giants (+3) @ Washington REDACTEDs
THE PICK: Giants 25-22 (1-0 SU, 1-0 ATS)
THREE REASONS WHY?
1) #neverforget
2) #neverforget
3) Seriously, #neverforget When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues. And this is their first EVER home game on CBS's Thursday Night Football? Holy shit. NOTHING is off the table tonight. NOTHING.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
1) Kirk Cousins has provided such a brand new infusion of life to this franchise that they should do what they should've done when they took RG3AndOut - rebrand themselves with a non racist name and logo and start all over again.
2) DeSean Jackson against the Giants? What ever could go wrong?
3) This is a Thursday Night Football game so it's probably going to suck. Play it safe and take the home team. Unless of course you've hated the home team since 1996 or so and you take any chance you can get to make fun of them.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Derek Jeter passed his God of New York torch on to LARRY MOTHER FUCKING DONNELL RAWLINGS BITCHES. Also Kirk Cousins got picked again. And again. And again. And again. Giants 45-14.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Seriously, #neverforget When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.
WHAT HAPPENED?
Derek Jeter passed his God of New York torch on to LARRY MOTHER FUCKING DONNELL RAWLINGS BITCHES. Also Kirk Cousins got picked again. And again. And again. And again. Giants 45-14.
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Seriously, #neverforget When the REDACTEDs host a nationally televised game against a division rival, hilarity always ensues.
Miami Dolphins (-3.5) @ Oakland Raiders
THE PICK: Raiders 19-16
THREE REASONS WHY?
1) Because everyone THINKS the Raiders are the Suck A Cock On Camera And Get FAMOUS If You Wanna Match Wits With Ya Boi JAMEIS favorites....but their opponents are that dark horse no one sees coming.
2) In these cripple fights, take the home team
3) I pondered picking up Andre Holmes this week, then didn't, then the little child who gave me my only fluke loss of my season after fluking in to Larry Donnell picked him up so I guess what I'm trying to say is Flipper Anderson's record is in doubt.
THREE REASONS WHY NOT?
1) The
2) Oakland
3) Raiders
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY DID IT HAPPEN?
Green Bay Packers (pk) @ Chicago Bears
THE PICK: Packers 30-27
THREE REASONS WHY?
2) Super shady line, Vegas knows, etc.
3) Honestly don't think there's a rivalry in which the road team owns the home team more than Packers/Bears. I submit the following evidence: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z
....Yeah, holy shit. We're done here. I'm not topping that in this blog post or ever in my life ever again. Quick picks: Bills (+3) over Texans 20-17, Colts (-7.5) over Titans 49-14, Ravens (-3) over Panthers 11 elevator punches-8 buried videotapes, Lions (pk) over Jets 42-21, Steelers (-9) over Bucs 70-7, Chargers (-14) over Jags 28-15, 49ERS (-4.5) over Eagles 31-28, Fighting Teddys (+3) over Falcons 20-17, Saints (-3) over Cowboys 100-42, Pats (-3) over Chiefs 27-24. Seeya next week.
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