Saturday, September 27, 2014

#SaturdaySelections - September 27, 2014

If you don't know what #SaturdaySelections is...seriously, what are you doing here?  Read one of my other posts.

Not all team logos are official.  Or appropriate.

Iowa (-9.5) @ Purdue

THE PICK: Purdue 27-21

WHY?  (a) because I'm literally dropping a turd right now (#overshare) so it's only fitting I take Turdue and (b) if these selections and this blog turn in to an epic disaster, I can always blame Turdue.

Northwestern (+10) @ Pedo State

THE PICK: Pedo State 44-21

WHY?  Because I actually like Christian Hackenberg, Bill Belton, James Franklin and just about everything related to the Pedo State program other than (a) the fact that their God looked the other way for ten years while his defensive coordinator fucked boys and (b) they still worship their God anyway

Tennessee (+17) @ # 12 Georgia

THE PICK: Georgia 38-31

WHY?  Actually think 17 points is WAY too many but that's because September's not over yet so I haven't stopped deluding myself in to thinking this is the year Tennessee might be BACK.

Vanderbilt (+17.5) @ Kentucky

THE PICK: Vanderbilt 24-21

WHY?  Because Kentucky football is literally a 17 and a half point favorite.  You KNOW the choke is coming.  Also whoever set this line didn't watch Vandy push South Carolina last weekend.

Maryland (+4) @ Indiana

THE PICK: Indiana 56-35

WHY?  Because while this is a TOTAL Indiana choke spot after their epic upset at Missouri last weekend, luckily Maryland is flying high itself by dominating what should be its current conference mate Syracuse at Syracuse last weekend so it cancels out.  Also if you watched our game with West Virginia (and I did!) you know that we can't stop the pass, which is kind of a problem when you're up against Kevin Wilson.

THE PICK: Michigan 29-19

WHY?  Both these teams suck (duh, they're #B1G teams) and a scoreline as ugly as the weather in Ann Arbor last weekend is on the cards.

# 1 Florida State (-18) @ N.C. State

THE PICK: Florida State 41-31

WHY?  The Wolfpack have been FSU's bogey school over the years but luckily Jameis is WAY too stupid to know that.

Arkansas (+9) v. Texas A&M

THE PICK: Texas A&M 53-51

WHY?  As much as I would LOVE to take Arkansas at the behest of the relatively large percentage of my Twitter followers who are Arkansas fans, I can't pick against KENNY HEISMAN.  The Arkansas run game is epic.  KENNY HEISMAN is more epic.  Speaking of epic, this is at Jerryworld.

Stanford (-7.5) @ Washington

THE PICK: Stanford 40-15

WHY?  This can be a beartrap dogtrap for the Cardinal but not this year because Washington blows.  Literally was down 14-0 at home last week to Georgia State.

Cincinnati (+17) @ # 22 Ohio State

THE PICK: Ohio State 23-19

WHY?  Learn your history.  Of course, this year's Buckeyes would somehow be an even bigger bullshit fluke champ than that year's.

North Carolina (+15) @ Clemson

THE PICK: North Carolina 44-41 (OT)

Missouri (+6) @ # 13 South Carolina

THE PICK: South Carolina 29-18

WHY?  There's some joke in here about Michael Sam and Cocks but...nevermind.

THE PICK: Miami 34-27

WHY?  Duke Johnson is the best Duke.

Oregon State (+8.5) @ # 18 USC

THE PICK: Oregon State 28-21

WHY?  Because women always have the power, especially when they've got the MANnion wrapped around their finger.

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