Not all team logos are official. Or appropriate.
Iowa (-9.5) @ Purdue
THE PICK: Purdue 27-21
WHY? (a) because I'm literally dropping a turd right now (#overshare) so it's only fitting I take Turdue and (b) if these selections and this blog turn in to an epic disaster, I can always blame Turdue.
Northwestern (+10) @ Pedo State
THE PICK: Pedo State 44-21
WHY? Because I actually like Christian Hackenberg, Bill Belton, James Franklin and just about everything related to the Pedo State program other than (a) the fact that their God looked the other way for ten years while his defensive coordinator fucked boys and (b) they still worship their God anyway
Tennessee (+17) @ # 12 Georgia
THE PICK: Georgia 38-31
WHY? Actually think 17 points is WAY too many but that's because September's not over yet so I haven't stopped deluding myself in to thinking this is the year Tennessee might be BACK.
Vanderbilt (+17.5) @ Kentucky
THE PICK: Vanderbilt 24-21
WHY? Because Kentucky football is literally a 17 and a half point favorite. You KNOW the choke is coming. Also whoever set this line didn't watch Vandy push South Carolina last weekend.
Maryland (+4) @ Indiana
THE PICK: Indiana 56-35
WHY? Because while this is a TOTAL Indiana choke spot after their epic upset at Missouri last weekend, luckily Maryland is flying high itself by dominating what should be its current conference mate Syracuse at Syracuse last weekend so it cancels out. Also if you watched our game with West Virginia (and I did!) you know that we can't stop the pass, which is kind of a problem when you're up against Kevin Wilson.
THE PICK: Michigan 29-19
WHY? Both these teams suck (duh, they're #B1G teams) and a scoreline as ugly as the weather in Ann Arbor last weekend is on the cards.
# 1 Florida State (-18) @ N.C. State
THE PICK: Florida State 41-31
WHY? The Wolfpack have been FSU's bogey school over the years but luckily Jameis is WAY too stupid to know that.
Arkansas (+9) v. Texas A&M
THE PICK: Texas A&M 53-51
WHY? As much as I would LOVE to take Arkansas at the behest of the relatively large percentage of my Twitter followers who are Arkansas fans, I can't pick against KENNY HEISMAN. The Arkansas run game is epic. KENNY HEISMAN is more epic. Speaking of epic, this is at Jerryworld.
Stanford (-7.5) @ Washington
THE PICK: Stanford 40-15
WHY? This can be a beartrap dogtrap for the Cardinal but not this year because Washington blows. Literally was down 14-0 at home last week to Georgia State.
Cincinnati (+17) @ # 22 Ohio State
THE PICK: Ohio State 23-19
WHY? Learn your history. Of course, this year's Buckeyes would somehow be an even bigger bullshit fluke champ than that year's.
North Carolina (+15) @ Clemson
THE PICK: North Carolina 44-41 (OT)
Missouri (+6) @ # 13 South Carolina
THE PICK: South Carolina 29-18
WHY? There's some joke in here about Michael Sam and Cocks but...nevermind.
THE PICK: Miami 34-27
WHY? Duke Johnson is the best Duke.
Oregon State (+8.5) @ # 18 USC
THE PICK: Oregon State 28-21
WHY? Because women always have the power, especially when they've got the MANnion wrapped around their finger.
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